Reviews of Zachary German

Stiflingly desperate...
-Daryl the Blacksmith

A strike-out!
-Daryl Strawberry


It's like he can't think of anything new, so he just plagiarizes, or does nothing
-The New York Times

(Takes a dump)
-Local Dog

shooting 3's, isn't very hard work

hard working men and women of america, and even the world because this applied to you Bruno Sundov, recently one ewick montwos, as he calls himself, originally named eric montross, of the boston celetics, interviewed one ttb. (two-timing-bitch), and i'm hear to say you're gona hear a lota stuff about ewick montwos. a lota "facts" and "numbers" are going to be thrown around,

most of you can see through it, but i'm hear first, to try to keep ewick montwos from getting to your children who, if brought up right, will work hard, I'M HEAR TO PROTECT THE FUTURE, I'M HEAR TO PROTECT YOU, KIDS!, from a three-point-pushin'-out-side-passin'-assist-leading-hack like montwos from telling your kids it's OK to just shoot three, and hit only 20% of them instead of driving HARD down court, through the defense and dunking a hard won two points on your opponents head!

let's look at some stats:


rookie season:

field goal percentage: EM: .534 D .648
free throw % EM .635 D .785
assists EM 36 D 64
steels EM 29 D 58
blocks EM 61 D 109
RBI's EM 0 D 104



how can you back a man who doesn't even have a single RBI?







and i have it here, proof, that eric montross have NEVER taken a 3 in a game

http://www.basketball-reference.com/players/m/montrer01.html

Dating D

so i invited catherine lacey to my blog tonight for a date tonight

https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=3396329186896308930&postID=8339408084819204127&page=1

i'm kinda nervous, i'm getting things ready, trying to looks nice, just got my welding mask back from the polishers, and i blacksmithed her something nice, some flowers

wish me luck on my blog-date!

bear sightings

this is DTB (Daryl the blacksmith), the Indrustrial...man, here

and i'm here to tell you I, and the rest of hard working men and woman in america are on strike, and no not none of that bitch ass picketing strike,

on a rip-raoring-enviormental-river-dumping-toxic-waste-economic-train-wreck-strike.


the golden bear, back? now the D doesn't know how to feel, but he is asking the golden bear if he will take paw in hand with welding glove, and together we can turn those purple mountains magisty into glowing mountains of radioactive decay.

golen bear, i take the risk of extending my hard working hand, will you help me dump the oil drum of america's independence into the river of mystic myth?

economy?

if you can't get a job, make one, start an employment agency, then find yourself some work

metal work, i'm your man, physics, i'm your man, dashing good looks, that too, writing? thejaguaruprising.com

bore parade:

mike bushenll
kendra gran malone
sam pink
TTB
andrew boye
thegoldenbear (...thegoldenbear)
Joe lindsay

all moderately employed individuals

welcome to the working week

after a long stint in nowhere in the catskill moutains working, i am back. it's tough out there, but there's work everywhere.


on my journey i met many people traveling west for work, there's work in em' hills, you just gotta find it

it's the 2008 work-rush

get yours

a call to arms

all join the uprising

work with us,
work against us,
preferable with us,
but wither way your a jaguar upriser

watch out

watch out for the forth coming book : Heat

a collection of poems and prose by my opponents i've faced in teh squared circle, all offense, no D

this just in

noah cicero declares war on the Jaguar Uprising, notably on Daryl,

in other news: cicero's book still not selling
(Amazon thinking of not selling book)

the challenge

zachary german you make a point, B. Aruther has something to say,

ok, three events, one in my area, one in yours, one in niether


1. a work off

2. a write off

3. a write in catagory chosen by tao lin AND the jaguar uprising


do you accept?

a more writerly side of D

working so hard i rarely have time to write, reflect, and put my thoughts down, and haveing so many writer friends in the jagur uprisng i efelt i needed to write something, it's in book form though short, while the hardest working man in america was living with TTB we wrote this little diddy, that described our day to day lives:

Don't tell me you don't know what love is
When you're old enough to know better
WHEN YOU FIND STRANGE HANDS IN YOUR SWEATER
When your dreamboat turns out to be a footnote
I'm a man with a mission in two or three editions
And I'm giving you a longing look
Everyday, everyday, everyday I write the book

Chapter One we didn't really get along
Chapter Two I think I fell in love with you
You said you'd stand by me in the middle of Chapter Three
But you were up to your old tricks in Chapters Four, Five and Six

The way you walk
The way you talk, and try to kiss me, and laugh
In four or five paragraphs
All your compliments and your cutting remarks
Are captured here in my quotation marks

Don't tell me you don't know the difference
Between a lover and a fighter
With my pen and my electric typewriter
Even in a perfect world where everyone was equal
I'd still own the film rights and be working on the sequel

The No Post

Volume 1, The No Post:



i care about caring less
i care about seeking employment

Daryl knows his people

I would like to make the announcement that i am planning on releasing a short publication of interviews i've conducted with various people. the working title is "The Name of this douche-bag is Zachary German" it's a field guide and handbook for venturing into the world of writing, to familiarize yourself with the major pillars of the writing community. look for it on Mellville-House books.

Brendon Scott cornell

recently i sat down with the very hard working brendon scott morell to find out what's really going on with life, writing, the jaguar uprising, and the future:

D: good to have you here

B: i travel

roads become shifty

the keyboard is my new set of legs


D: yes... how has your writing career been as of recent?

B: a tree CAN wilt in the summer

she'll hold the blanket close to her face

bite it

ashamed

D: I understand you're good friends with tao lin, how has his writing affected you?

B: vietnam has is figured out

plumbing made old me obsolete

the fighter jets made old men obsolete

i am happy

that i am sad

D: ok, then............... where do you think you're career is going?

B: to have not

is the new have

so not

kitchen sparkles

the dishwasher hum lulls the fridge to sleep

D: on a different topic how does the jaguar uprising make you feel?

B: oh i'm scared shitless

D: they've had that kind of effect on you? has it affected your writing?

B: i try to sleep

writing pages with false numbers

i can forget a page

i can forget my depression

but i can't fall asleep

so i listen to my house talk

i wait


D: well i think that about covers it, thank you for being here today

B: i shiver

grocery shopping is terrifying

decisions and choices

D: brendon scott rapapell ladies and gentlemen

an open challenge to one man

i Daryl (The Hardest Working Man in America) lay down an open challenge to noah (grab bag) cicero, to come blacksmith along side me, and see who can out work who, you declared you could out work, the working class. ok mr. "writer"... come, and see if you can out work me, what it'll be? blacksmithing? welding? brute labor? none of that college-drop-out-work like working at Chilies or TGI fridays. see if you can out smith me... put your labor where your mouth is

A lighter Side of Zach Germany

zachery germany said this on his blog the other day

"
if you have a blog, or are just interested in learning more about me, and would like to interview me, email me

i like being interviewed"

so i took him up on his offer and interviewed him

D: so zach, thank you for being here to talk with me

Z: no problem

D: i hear you like to write, how's that going for you?

Z: well good, i write on my blog and people respond, they really seem to like it

D: so people, with, and without jobs, are reading your work all over the world

Z: i suppose so

D: how's the whole, how do you say, sucking aspect of your career treating you?

Z: ah, i mean, i don't think i suck, people read my blog, i'm reading with Tao Lin in New York City, i think i'm doing pretty well

D: well, i guess you only need one fan who actually is good to get you places i suppose

Z: HEY, i got lot's of fans, i'm pretty good

D: some may argue Tao Lin is pretty good, i mean he has a life time book deal, has PHYSICALLy published works, has probably gotten laid in his life time, and only a few years older than you, you've got-

Z: I"VE GOTTEN LAID!

D: and you're also the hardest working man in america, tell me, how do you plan on defending yourself against the jaguar uprising?

Z: defend? i don't need to defend myself, i'm a successful writer with a career, what could they do?

D: yes, but if you're not aware the internet buffer comes down may 2nd when you and the jaguar uprising come face to face in the KGB bar-area. tell me, are you good at thinking on your feet? or do you need time to think of a come back?

Z: I'm witty!

D:i guess we'll find out. follow up question: when do you plan to stop riding tao Lin's coat tails?

Z: THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER!

D: hey where you going? i'm not finished, we didn't even get to touch on your lack of style...

Z: FUCK YOU! (leaves IM CHAT)

D: zachary german ladies and gentlemen

zach WW2

zachary german? i've heard the name, never paid it much attention, until now. forget watching your back, watch your front, your front row, where I, The Hardest Working Man in America will be sitting, staring, critiquing, behind shade 12 glass so dark you don't even know if i have a face, maybe i don't... and when you're standing in the KGB bar-areana, i'm gona be waiting to throw down my hand-smithed-working-class-9-to-5 gauntlet... it's on zach, it's on... until the 1.......2.......3

this is my brother Daryl, and my other brother Daryl

this is Daryl the blacksmith, brother to daryl Strawberry, and I'm here to say GET A JOB, i have a job, i have all your jobs, I am the father of fabrication, i beautifully blacksmith every piece of iron work you own, your silverware, your pipes, faucets, forget about it, they're mine too. it's mighty tough to get a job these days with me around. fuck you hippie, put on some shoes, a poncho is not proper attire, take a shower, and most importantly, get a job!

i would also like like to announce my new blog, http://ellensaintfrancesilikeit.blogspot.com where i chronicle everything i like, check it out

-D